> v @ n e $ $ @ - m ! c h e l e - l u c @ $ <

Fri, 04 Oct 2002 12:29:41 GMT

i'm the happiest girl alive!
i was just walking down the hall,
and i saw joe brewer (my little bitty freshman buddy)
holding hands with this cute girl named jaime.
AWWWW.
it was so cute.
i'm full of smiles.
and i can't wait to see dan!!!

Thu, 03 Oct 2002 12:43:52 GMT

today is official shannon and vanessa day.
i can't fucking wait.
hopefully amanda can join us!

i'm really happy today.
i love good moods.

and i have really good hair today, too!

Wed, 02 Oct 2002 19:19:15 GMT

attention shannon bishop:

call me tonight you hottie boom a lottie!

Tue, 01 Oct 2002 19:17:04 GMT

i wish i could always say what i thought,
without having to worry about offending someone,
or getting in trouble.
more than that, though, i wish i didn't think negative thoughts
about anything.
i'm really working on that.

i'm listening to a song that should make me sad,
but instead it just kinda makes me happy.

(most of the time i wish there was just two people in this world: you and me.)

i don't have anything to say.

Tue, 01 Oct 2002 02:52:58 GMT

HEY DAN.
I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING.
YOU ARE MY EVERYTHING.
YOU MAKE ME HAPPY,
AND YOU MAKE ME NOT WANT TO LET GO OF YOU...
EVER.
GO CHECK YOUR EMAIL.
I MISS YOU LIKE CRAZY.
YOU ARE THE BESTEST.
<3 <3 <3

you know.
the beatles said it best.

la la la la
life goes on.

i really want to be a different vanessa tomorrow.
im making no promises.
but i will make effort.

i poked myself in the eye,
and its bleeding.
i hope i dont go blind.

i kinda like school this year.
minus english class, it's all good.
all a's, and a few b's make me happy.
i like deserving what i earn.

the freshman this year make me not want to graduate.
i'm really going to miss my new friends.
i've met some really great kids this year.
i'm going to be sad to leave them behind,
but i hate my graduating class.
i told joe paquette that i was just gonna fail the next 4 years
so i can graduate with the class of '06.
it was a nice thought at least.

i dont even like livejournal.
i dont know why i write in here.
gagh.

Mon, 30 Sep 2002 22:06:35 GMT

Last time I talked to you
You were lonely and out of place
You were looking down on me
Lost out in space

We laid underneath the stars
Strung out and feeling brave
I watched the red orange glow
I watched you float away
Down here in the atmosphere
Garbage and city lights
You've gone to save your tired soul
You've gone to save our lives

I turned on the radio
To find you on satellite
I'm waiting for the sky to fall
I'm waiting for a sign

And all we are
Is all so far

You're falling back to me
The star that I can see yeah
I know your out there, somewhere out there
You're falling out of reach
Defying gravity yeah
I know you're out there, somewhere out there

Hope you remember me
When you're home sick and need a change
I miss your purple hair
I miss the way you taste
I know you'll come back some day
On a bed of nails I wait
I'm praying that you don't burn out or fade away

And all we are
Is all so far

You're falling back to me
The star that I can see yeah
I know your out there, somewhere out there
You're falling out of reach
Defying gravity yeah
I know you're out there, somewhere out there

You're falling back to me
The star that I can see
I know your out there, ohhh
Your falling out of reach
Defying gravity
I know you're out there, somewhere out there

Your falling back to me
The star that I can see yeah
I know your out there, somewhere out there
Your falling out of reach
Defying gravity yeah
I know you're out there, somewhere out there

You're falling back to me
I know, I know
You're falling out of reach ohhhhhh
I know...

I'm now huffing gas and sniffing paint, to take away this buzz that i call you.

Mon, 30 Sep 2002 01:09:28 GMT

i just re-fell in love with the alkaline trio.

Sun, 29 Sep 2002 18:10:45 GMT

by the way,
if you've never seen 'eyes wide shut',
starring tom cruise and nicole kidman,
i recommend you do so.
i stayed up for three hours watching it last night,
and it was well worth it.
a little weird, and there were a lot of boobs in it,
but it was really fucking cool.

i'm going to take a long nap now.
goodnight.

Sun, 29 Sep 2002 17:13:54 GMT

what a great night i had!
thanks dan and my friends.
i love you guys :)

Fri, 27 Sep 2002 12:28:04 GMT

i went to bed at 6:30 p.m. last night, while most seniors didn't even get home til 6:30 a.m..

i rock.

Thu, 26 Sep 2002 19:28:04 GMT

courtney hurt is my saviour.
thank you for the dress.
i love you too much.

homecoming is on!
got my tickets.
got my plans.
got my friends.
got my date.

eh. i'm bailing out on the whole "senior fun night", tonight.
which is really just trashing the school (gay).
i'd much rather sleep anyway!

Thu, 26 Sep 2002 01:24:08 GMT

sometimes i feel really stressed out and upset for no reason and i just want to cry, but i think that is perfectly normal conscidering that i am a seventeen year old, menstruating female.

you have broken every heart of every friend you've ever had.

Wed, 25 Sep 2002 02:25:23 GMT

i made two new livejournals, i just don't know which one to use. when i figure that out, i'll post it in this motherfucker.

Wed, 25 Sep 2002 01:57:16 GMT

(why are you so good to me?)

Tue, 24 Sep 2002 12:28:26 GMT

today i was told that i look like a "mangey cat".
f u, man. washing my hair takes too much work!

i miss dan really bad today :(

one year, one month, one week, and counting.

Mon, 23 Sep 2002 00:25:17 GMT

me: "you know what i like about you?"
him: "what?"
me: "you never make me sad."

dear dan:

Sun, 22 Sep 2002 05:26:21 GMT

(i hope tonight i made you see
that there is no getting bored of dan garvey for me!)

Sat, 21 Sep 2002 17:17:52 GMT

I don't care if it hurts,
I want to have control.
I want a perfect body,
I want a perfect soul.
I want you to notice,
when I'm not around.
You're so fucking special,
I wish I was special.
But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?.
I don't belong here

Thu, 19 Sep 2002 23:51:25 GMT

quick update: i don't talk to matt (aka my dad anymore), i don't really care about livejournal anymore (!), and i sleep far too much for my own good. now, fill this out. i'm actually interested.

1. What is my full name?

2. When is my birthday?

3. What color are my eyes?

4. Do i smell good?

5. Am i a fun person to hang out with?

6. If i were a fruit what would i be and why?

7. What T.V./movie character do i remind you of and why?

8. Am i orginal or just like everyone else?

9. Am i a leader or a follower?

10. Am i nice or mean?

~*~*~~*~*~OPPOSITE SEX ONLY QUESTIONS~*~*~~*~*~

1. Have you ever liked me in a more than friend way?

2. Have you ever had a dream about me?

3. What happened in that dream?

4. Would you ever kiss me?

4b. If you have kissed me would you do it again?

5. Am i bangable?

6. Am i attractive?

7. Sexy or Cute?

9. What do you like about me (physical)?

10. What do you like about my personality?

11. If we were to go on a date what would we do?

12. Do you think of me off-line?

13. Would u ever consider being my boy/girl friend?

14. Do u or have u ever had a crush on me? (be specific on which one)

~*~*~*~*~*~EVERYONE AGAIN~*~*~~*~*~*~

1. Am i shallow?

2. If there is one thing you change about me what would it be?

3. Have i ever touched your life?

4. What is one memory of us that you will NEVER forget?

5. What song remind you of me?

6. Do we have inside jokes....if so whats your favorite?

7. Do you think i will ever get married?

8. Who do you think i will marry?

9. What could you picture me doing in the future?

10. Do you think i am a virgin?

11. If you could give me a present what would it be?

12. Do you wish we were closer?

13. What was your first impression of me?

14. Sum me up in ONE word?

Tue, 10 Sep 2002 02:21:58 GMT

sometimes. i. just. don't. know.

i'm sick of being a teenager. i'm sick of the way that every single girl i know talks about other girls behind their back. i hate how if you talk about me behind my back, that's fine, but if i talk about you, it's some big fucking deal. i'm a fucking seventeen year old girl. gossip is pretty much my middle name. i'm sick of being involved. in. everything. i wish it could just be fine withe veryone. where i wouldn't have to worry about trust and who my friends are. the.only.time.i.ever.talk.about.someone.behind.their.back.is.if.they.give.me.reason.to. and i'm sick of having people who give me reason to. i can't wait until i'm out of high school and i don't have to worry about the cruel politics of high school. i won't have to worry about impressing anyone, or making anyone like me. i try to be nice to everyone. i try to have good karma, and even that's not good for some people. i'm done with it. i just don't care, honestly. if you're gonna talk shit, than you better be ready to take it back in. itjusthappens. 'friends' do that. i haven't met any group of 'friends' yet who don't do it, and i've been looking my whole life. so do me a favor, and if you find a 'friend' who doesn't talk shit and gossip, give me their number.

and if i don't return your phonecalls, if you ever make them, you know why.

(ilovejeremydamaske,though).

everything is so dramatic. and it's really fucking stupid. i have to think and feel so much more than a normal teenager does, just because i want everyone to like me. fuck that. know me, and don't like me. i'm not putting on a charade. it's over, okay?

and i hate livejournal for this reason. all it does is start drama. every.single.bit.of.drama.in.my.life.revolves.around.good.old.LJ.

it takes twenty one days to make or break a habit. i'll be writing elsewhere. if you are REALLY interested, contact me. otherwise, here's to fucking twenty one days.

Mon, 09 Sep 2002 20:05:54 GMT

no more drama for me.
understand?
NO MORE DRAMA.

goodbye.

Mon, 09 Sep 2002 03:22:24 GMT

one time alexa powell told me that you shouldn't waste your time on fighting and pety things like that, and that you should live every day like it's the last day you have and make the times you have with people your best ones because that could be the last time you ever see them, and i think this is a very, very, very good philosophy to live by.

goodbye and goodnight.

www.iloveyou.com

Sun, 08 Sep 2002 05:43:38 GMT

i just realized that i am not a freak.
i am not crazy, or abnormal.
i am just a teenage girl.
i just spent a good half hour reading through random girl's LJ's.
one day their happy,
the next day they hate their life.
and it's all normal.
and i think that makes me feel good.

now, why are we so retarded as girls?

(iloveyou)

Fri, 06 Sep 2002 18:57:09 GMT

today about 95 people called me hott, and that made me feel pretty good.

Thu, 05 Sep 2002 16:17:02 GMT

peanut butter oreo blizzards...
not sure how i feel about it.
could be conscidered the best thing ever,
could also be conscidered the worst.
i've been feeling this way about a lot of things lately.
weird.
anyway.
hopefully dan's coming over again today.
if not, im sleeping all day.

football game tomorrow!
rock and roll!
i love love love marching band!
yay!